With the crime rate in Grafton so low and a huge police station to fill, Grafton police have been itching to use the new facilities. Sergeant Bruce Arnoldi came up with a novel idea. “If I can catch officers breaking the law and throw the book at them, then we can all get some practice” he told Garlic reporters. Arnoldi and his partner entered the Grafton home of Officer Ron Shandling last Saturday morning in full SWAT attire. They pulled the sleeping Sergeant to his feet, slapped cuffs on him, read him his rights and brought him to the station for booking. He was charged with “idleness”, a crime on the books from Puritan times when napping was a crime. A giggling Shandling was not so happy a month later when it cost him $6,000 in legal fees to remove the arrest from his record.
In the meantime, enterprising town officials approved other uses for the station including: police themed birthday parties, a dog kennel for Tufts Vet School, a “Chip and Dales” style police strip show, temporary classrooms for high school math, and a new Bravo reality TV show called “No Crime, No Time.”
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Arrest each other? HA!
ReplyDeleteThey're too busy working details: drinking coffee, chatting with the workers, staring intently into the deep holes.
Directing traffic? Couldn't be bothered.
It's spelled "Chippendales"...
ReplyDeleteI know The Onion. The Onion is a friend of mine. And Garlic, you're no Onion.
Well, Did it cost a "giggling" Shandling 6 grand or the tax payers???? If this is true it is a sick way to use there time... pure laziness!!!
ReplyDeleteAh yes, my editorial staff must have been out drinking and didn't catch the Chip and Dale typo. I must have had Chipmunks on the brain.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.chipndaleonline.com/
And I humbly agree that the Garlic is no Onion Senator.
(And to the concerned taxpayer, the $6K came from Ron's cousin Gary...)