Taking a cue from a local online news organization which has recently expanded to other towns, Garlic owner AJ Aglio decided to "spread garlic" by launching "The Squash" and the "Avocado" for Sutton and Auburn. Garlic's self-educated CFO Iman Dett says "Hey, if we can make no money in one town, why not make no money in other towns? Others may call it "economies of scale" but I just like to call it...well...can I get back to you on that?" Satirical news sites for other local towns like Hopkinton and Shrewsbury are reportedly delayed due to lack of catchy vegetable names. Insiders say Garlic's creative team has moved on to unhealthy meats and may go with "Hopkinton Hotdog" and "Shrewsbury Spam." Also, Garlic's rumored slogan (for which lawyers are poised to sue for copyright infringement) "
Satirical serenity is our policy, Annoying every elected official in Massachusetts is our goal" has not been verified.
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Wait, there are plenty of root vegetables still on the table. The Shrewsbury Shallot, for example. Or the Westboro Water Chestnut. The Hopkinton Horseradish. The Paxton Parsnip. The Rutland Radish. Perhaps the lesser known Upton Ulluco or Millbury Malanga. You could syndicate!
ReplyDeleteThere's also the whole world of hybrids to consider: the Charlton Cucalope for starters.
ReplyDelete...and we could always go the legume route with the Leicester Lentil.
ReplyDeleteHmmm...you want to annoy elected officials? Ok, I'm in!
ReplyDeleteLet's see...
1) Is the Grafton TA actually working from home and telecommuting?
2) Is the TA's part-time recent-hire actually doing the TA job (e.g. budget preparation)?
3) Is there a reason the BOS meeting minutes are not showing up on the official Grafton web site?
4) How is the PAYT program doing? I recently saw another community needed to raise their rates because the revenue was not as forecast.
5) I will be paying about $300/year as my part of the new high school. Do I get a high schooler to shovel my driveway as part of that deal?
6) How is the TA PA (Town Administrator Performance Appraisal) progressing? Will it be 4.9 out of 5, or a perfect 5.0?
How's that?